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By Megan Anderson
megan@hometown-news.com
The recent murders of two Cherokee County citizens - Ricky Allen Dixon on Oct. 21, and Michael William Carpenter on Nov. 1 - have spotlighted the issue of domestic violence in this area.
Domestic violence, also called spousal or intimate violence, is a troubling social problem that affects thousands of men, women, and children across the state each year.
Statistics from the office of South Carolina Attorney General Henry McMaster reveal that there are more than 36,000 victims of domestic violence across the state each year. Cherokee County, specifically, reports more than 500 victims each year. What makes these statistics more alarming, however, is the fact that many victims fail to report the violence.
The abuse or battering can come in various forms.
Most people think of physical abuse, which is aggressive behavior done to the victim’s body. Examples range from pinching and pushing, to more violent acts like choking or stabbing.
Sexual abuse involves the victim being forced to participate in sexual activity that is unwanted or unsafe. It is important to remember that a wife, or even a husband, can still be a victim if made to have sex against their will.
In psychological or emotional abuse, the abuser doesn’t make contact with the victim’s body, but uses other methods, such as threats, yelling, name-calling, and intimidation to attack their partner’s self-esteem. Controlling behaviors, like limiting the victim’s access to friends, activities, or money are also examples.
According to the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault, all of these forms of abuse are committed to control or dominate the victim, and the acts of violence typically get worse, in terms of frequency and severity.
When someone finds themselves as the victim of any of these forms of violence, they can feel completely helpless against the situation. But the SAFE Homes – Rape Crisis Coalition, which offers a 24-hour crisis line and emergency shelter to domestic violence victims in Cherokee, Spartanburg, and Union, doesn’t believe that has to be the case.
The Spartanburg-based group encourages victims to remember the following, “Although I do not have control over my partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how to best get myself and my child(ren) to safety”.
As a way of protecting area victims from further violence, SAFE Homes offers them a Personalized Safety Plan, which details eight important steps to stay safe and get out of the situation.
* Step one is safety during a violent incident. The violence cannot always be avoided, but victims can try to minimize the damage. If possible, victims, should try to move disagreements to a lower risk area, and avoid the bathroom, garage and kitchen, or rooms without access to an outside door. People being battered should also practice getting out of their living environment safely and teach young children how to call 911.
Step two is safety when preparing to leave. Victims are more successful at getting away from an abuser if they have a carefully thought-out plan. They should also find a friend or shelter to stay at ahead of time, and consider storing money, copies of important documents, and clothing in a safe place. It may be necessary to rehearse the escape plan alone or with any children.
* Step three is safety in my own residence. Victims can increase their safety by taking a number of measures, such as purchasing rope ladders for easier escape from second-floor windows. If the abusive spouse or partner no longer lives at home, additional locks, window bars, or an electronic alarm system would make the house safer if they try to visit. If a couple are estranged, the victim should also update their children’s school and daycare, so their abusive partner won’t be allowed to pick the children up.
* Step four is safety with an order of protection. Police and courts may be necessary to keep victims safe. They should always carry their order of protection with them and provide a copy to police departments where they live, work, or visit. If the abuser violates the order, the victim should call the police, their attorney, an advocate, and file a family court contempt order.
* Step five is safety on the job and in public. Victims may not want to tell others that they are being abused, but family and friends may be able to protect them. It may be beneficial for victims to tell their bosses or security supervisors about their situation so that they can be on the lookout. If a victim is no longer living with their partner, then they should also attempt to avoid them in public by shopping or frequenting different businesses than they used together.
* Step six is safety and drug or alcohol use. Victims should avoid the use of drugs or alcohol for various reasons. These substances could reduce a user’s awareness and ability to react, thus affecting their ability to protect themselves from their partner. Using illegal drugs could also be harmful to a victim’s chances in court, particularly when trying to get custody of children.
* Step seven is safety and the victim’s emotional health. Women and men who are being abused can help themselves from feeling like victims by building themselves back up. Attending workshops or support groups can make them feel stronger. Having a close friend to talk to can remind them that they are not alone. Even being more assertive and using “I can …” statements can make them feel more control.
* Step eight is items to take when leaving. When a victim finally makes the decision to leave their abusive partner, there are a number of crucial things they should plan on taking. Identification, such as birth certificates, social security cards, and driver’s licenses for themselves and their children, are first on the list. School and vaccination records, and necessary medications are also important. Money, debit and credit cards, and checkbooks will also be needed, as will house, car, or office keys. If victims have the time to pack, they should consider additional paperwork like welfare, passports, divorce, medical records, property information, bankbooks, and insurance papers. Additional items like address books, pictures, jewelry, sentimental items, and children’s favorite toys are nice if there is space.
In addition to following these steps, victims and their children should also memorize important phone numbers. In addition to 911, victims can also call their specific law enforcement agency. They can reach the Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office at (864) 489-4722, the Gaffney Police at (864) 489-8115 and the Blacksburg Police at (864) 839-2331.
There are other resources, in addition to law enforcement. SAFE Homes-Rape Crisis Coalition has a 24-hour hotline that can be reached by calling 1-800-273-5066. There is also a S.C. Victim’s Assistance Network available at (803) 750-1200. Victims can also call the Cherokee County Solicitor’s Office at (864) 487-2576.
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