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Letters from long-ago war reveal a young and tragic love
STORY AND PHOTOGRAPH by Theron Willis
HOMETOWN NEWS
Pam Whitehead looks through the letters that she hasn’t read in over 40 years that were sent to her from a special someone who fought in the Vietnam War.
Sometimes the opening of an old dusty envelope hidden away in a corner can have an effect similar to time travel.
When Pam Whitehead of Lyman recently went through a 41-year-old stack of letters she was transported back to a time long ago. To a time before she was a mother and a grandmother, back when she was a sixteen-year-old girl in Cowpens and a fragile and fateful love was budding between her and a soldier she hardly knew who was writing to her from the foxholes in Vietnam.
Whitehead, then with the maiden name Bolton, started correspondence with twenty-year-old Army Private First Class Paul Martinez while he was stationed at Fort Lewis in the state of Washington. Martinez was buddies with a guy named Ricky who was from Cowpens and dating Pam’s sister, Gerri at the time.
Pam says that Martinez was Puerto Rican and worked in the shipyards in San Francisco with his family before joining the Army, but she knows very little else about his life. When Ricky went back home to Cowpens on leave, Martinez went as well to see the sixteen-year-old young lady who had become his pen pal.
That two-week leave was the first and only time Pam ever saw Martinez in person. A shy and awkward attraction developed over the course of the two weeks and hinted at when he went back to Fort Lewis, but when Martinez was deployed in Vietnam in April 3, 1969, he began to express feelings to Pam in his letters that might have otherwise lain dormant - feelings of his love for Pam and his hope of reuniting with her once his time was through in the dreaded war.
“We can have so much together when I get out, I know it. It’s just a matter of time…Before you know it I will be in your arms and telling you I will never let go know (now) that I have you so close to me,” he wrote in one of his letters to Pam.
Martinez was stationed in the Quang Nam Province in South Vietnam with the first squad of the 101st Airborne Division and served as a rifleman.
Pam says Martinez had poor grammar and spelling but despite that his letters brought out a romantic and eloquent side. “Pam the way love moves is the way to (two) persons meet, may it be by thought or touch,” he wrote on the back of a picture he sent to her from Vietnam.
Pam also thinks Martinez could express things in letters that he would find hard to say in person. “He was kind of shy at first (in person) but I think he was more comfortable when he started writing letters,” Pam explains.
The affection and romance that Martinez expressed to Pam made her feel in ways she had never felt before in her young life.
“I dated and had boyfriends before but he made me feel like the most wonderful person in the world, like I was an angel and that I was so precious to him,” Pam says. She was reluctant and shy to reciprocate the same intense romanticism and passion that Martinez communicated to her through his letters.
“I was only sixteen and it was all just so new and strange to read what he was saying to me,” Pam recounts. “I just wasn’t sure how to respond.”
Martinez tried not to be forceful in his letters but also asked her to grant one simple wish. “Guess what Pam, you own part of my heart… I don’t mine you owning part of me at all…it’s not even costing you a thing except a genione I Love You once in a wy’ll in your letters. is it a deal? my heart for an I Love You in your letter’s.”
Pam finally started ending her letters to Martinez with an “I love you” and other affectionate sentiments but a few weeks later she realized it was too late. On May 23, 1969 she came home from school to find an ominous package from the US Army waiting for her. Inside the package was her recent batch of letters to Martinez as well as a note informing her that Martinez was killed on May 7, 1969 while his unit was trying to take Hamburger Hill. He spent only a little more than a month in Vietnam.
The heartbreaking thing with journeys back through time is knowing the outcome of events but being powerless to change it. As Pam read back over letters from Martinez for the first time in 41 years, she realized that the dates on the letters were a countdown till his untimely death.
“This (letter) is 26th of April, ‘69 so how long did he have to live?” Pam asked her voice breaking with emotion.
What was also painful was realizing that the promises made by Martinez to Pam of the times they would share once his time was up in Vietnam were fated to never happen.
“We can go driving all over the place with the car windows down and the radio soft and you sitting next to me,” Martinez writes to Pam as he envisioned a peaceful place away from the foxholes and bombs.
Looking back at the letters stirred up a cauldron of mixed emotions in Pam, making her wonder what would have happened if Martinez would have made it back from Vietnam. Would their love have survived? Would they still be together today? How would her life have been different?
But soon enough it was time to leave the past and return to the present, to carefully put away the old and yellowed letters back in a shadowy corner of her house and likewise put the thoughts of Martinez and the long - gone possibility of a different life away as well.
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